Dieting for the Dress
by BatThing
Summary: Barbara is dieting to fit into her dress. Dick tries to get her to eat, she thinks he likes her... so she confesses her feelings only for... read and find out what happens! Characters included: Barbara, Dick, Tim, and Bruce. :)


Dieting for the Dress:  
  
By: The BatThing  
  
"Bruce! Oh my god Dick, you are such a dick!" Barbara Gordon couldn't help but be sassy at a time like this. She pushed her dark red lips together and placed her small hand casually on her hip. "You take one more step towards me and I swear, you'll wish you had never been born!"  
  
Dick Grayson's bright eyes danced as he watched the redhead a few feet away. He couldn't help but adore her. "I'm afraid, Babsy my dear, that this is for your own good." He lifted up the chocolate cup cake and held it towards her.  
  
"Stop teasing me, you know that I eat!"  
  
"Then eat it, prove to me I am wrong." Dick replied smoothly. "Mmm," he took a big bite and rolled his eyes back.  
  
"Let me guess, it's divine."  
  
"It's like you are here eating it with me!" Dick licked his lips and offered her the treat once more.  
  
"Dick, I told you once, and I'll tell you again. I am dieting so I can fit into my dress for my date tomorrow. I won't be partaking in your feast at the moment." She flipped her hair watched Dick snarf down the dessert. "Tell me, is that your tenth or eleventh, I lost count."  
  
Dick gave a teasing squeeze on the girl's shoulder. "Hey, I make be fat, but your ugly, and I can diet."  
  
Her hand went flying and caught Dick across the mouth. Barbara gasped as she watched Dick stammer backwards, "oh my god Dick! I didn't mean to hit you so hard!" She grabbed his hand and watched his reaction.  
  
"Why do you always do that? I am just trying to have a good time and bam, you slap me! Am I nothing to you, nothing but a stress ball? Oww! Alfred!"  
  
"Stop, I knew this was a mistake to come over!"  
  
Dick stuck out his tongue. "Then why did you? Admit it Babs, you missed me."  
  
Swirling on her heels, the girl pulled her purse up and shook it. "Not at all! I simply forgot to give Bruce this!"  
  
There was a pause. "You forgot to give Bruce your purse? Barbara, why don't you play dress up with Tim and leave Bruce alone?"  
  
"Grayson, you are an idiot! I forgot to give Bruce, hold on," she dug in her purse and pulled out a small clipping of paper. "It's a newspaper article I thought he might be interested in."  
  
"Then why the hell did you show me your purse? You act like I'm an idiot when really you are just making up for your own mistake! Let me see that article."  
  
"No, you called me ugly, so you don't get to see anything!" The girl pushed the clipping into her purse, zipped it, and turned away. "Bruce isn't here, so I suppose I'll just come another time."  
  
Dick snorted loudly.  
  
"A time when you aren't around I might add."  
  
"You are so into me, I can tell."  
  
"You are so into yourself!" The girl snapped as she glared at the young man feverishly. "I mean, you think every girl on earth wants to see you flex."  
  
Dick chuckled. "Is that what this is all about? You want to see me flex?"  
  
Barbara shrieked. "No!"  
  
"I'm sorry, I would, but you see, this shirt is new and I don't want to rip it just yet."  
  
"Ohmygod!"  
  
Dick waved both hands, "now don't you have a diet to take care of? I think you'll be better off burning energy at your apartment."  
  
Cocking her head Barbara watched Dick smile. "You know what Richard?"  
  
"What Barbara?"  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"I know baby." He winked at her surprised expression. "You hate me because I make you think you shouldn't be dating ol' Tommy."  
  
With a swing of her purse she hit Dick once more across the face. But as soon as she understood what she had done she gasped and hurried over to him. "I wasn't thinking! You just make me so mad! Wait, why am I explaining, this is your fault!"  
  
Dick whimpered and collapsed to the floor, and he grasped her ankles and gave a loud sigh.  
  
"Don't touch me! Release me now!" She took a step, but Dick didn't let go, he held tight to her ankles and was dragged an inch across the floor. "I mean it Grayson!"  
  
"Make me a deal and I'll release you."  
  
"Whatever!"  
  
"Fine, then I guess we'll be together everywhere. Years from now you'll look back and wish you had make a deal."  
  
Barbara snatched a spoon from the kitchen counter and poked it at Dick's arm.  
  
"Poking doesn't do much Babs."  
  
"Ack! What is this deal then?"  
  
"Don't go on that stupid date with Tommy Jean."  
  
There was a pause and Barbara lifted her head. "HELP ME!"  
  
Dick gave a pouting expression, and then kissed the girl's ankle. "Please?"  
  
"You are so selfish!"  
  
"Me?"  
  
The girl nodded. "Why don't you just say it instead of making me be the initiator? Just say you like me instead of acting so childish about this whole thing!"  
  
"Hey, I never said I liked you, don't get any ideas fantasy girl." Dick released her and jumped to his feet.  
  
"Oh sure, that is why you are about ready to die."  
  
"Hey, I'm healthy enough."  
  
"You are jealous of Tommy, admit it! Well guess what, I don't ask for dates, guys ask me! If someone wants to date me then they need to ask me, or tell me!"  
  
Dick caught her chin. "You are a silly girl."  
  
Sticking out her tongue was the only answer Barbara gave.  
  
"Well then, I guess I'll see you around Babsy baby!"  
  
"I hope not!" The young woman turned with a shriek and stormed out of the room. She found Tim sitting on the couch, eating a peach, and looking rather peaceful. "Tim!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Don't put your feet on the coffee table. You don't know how much those cost! I do, I support myself! So get your ungrateful feet off! You want to end up like Richard? Do you?"  
  
"Well, I hope one day to come close, he was Robin, I'm Robin, so I think I'm off to a good start."  
  
"No! Don't think like that, Tim know one thing! Respect all women!" She grabbed his face and gave him a little shake. "Respect us! It's all we want, to be respected."  
  
Tim watched her storm out of the house. "What the hell?"  
  
"I tell you Tim, she is insane."  
  
"Yeah well, what did you do to her?"  
  
"Nothin'."  
  
"That's good."  
  
"Whatcha watching?"  
  
"Super Chicken."  
  
"Any good?"  
  
"Yeah, s'ok."  
  
"Cool."  
  
The door swung open and Barbara came storming back inside. She went into the kitchen, slamming each door as she grabbed a chocolate muffin. She stopped a few feet away from the two boys and bit into it. "You ruined my life. It's hopeless to even try to pretend you'll ever grow up!"  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"I mean, I keep trying, I send all the signals."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"And you don't seem to get it!"  
  
"S'at so?"  
  
"Yes! I don't know what to do other than just say it out loud!"  
  
"Cool."  
  
Barbara sighed and swallowed the treat. "Dick, I like you too."  
  
"Awesome."  
  
"Did you hear me? Are you even listening?!"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Ack!" The girl chucked her muffin, hitting him in the head and then left. On her way out she ran into Bruce. "You need to take some time with your children Mr. Wayne."  
  
"Barbara?"  
  
"I know I don't usually get really mad, I usually let you raise Tim in the way you want, but I am putting my foot down on this. Your children are beasts." She paused and then burst into tears.  
  
"My god, what did they do to you Barbara?" Bruce placed a hand on her shoulder. "Barbara, what happened?"  
  
"Nothing!" The girl pulled away. "Tell Dick that I am dating Tommy, and it's his fault if I don't fit into my blue satin dress!"  
  
Bruce watched the girl run to her car, get in, and drive off. He shook his head, and secretly thought the same thing he thought each day of his life. "Women."  
  
The End  
  
Tee-hee-hee. I know it's so un-healthy, but who doesn't diet to fit into that perfect dress, just to claim: "Yea! I am a six now!" I know I am guilty, and I know during that time food is so tempting! Ack! This was a mix of a romance that turned into my personal desire of stressing the trouble girls have.  
  
Hope you enjoyed it, though it was random. Hmm. 


End file.
